Sunday, October 3, 2010

I WANT TO BE A WRITER IN RESIDENCE


Writer in Residence, what a great gig! How can I get one like that, you're asking yourself. You get paid, you get to get away from your cluttered house and your demanding family to a place where you are looked up to and admired. Most writers in residence spend a few weeks at a public library giving talks and critiquing patrons' manuscripts and of course working on their current WIP when they get a moment. But I want a residency like Alain de Botton (pictured here) who spent a week at Heathrow Airport as the Writer in Residence. Look at the exposure! Look at the book he wrote while sitting in the Departures Terminal - a slim, attractive volume called A WEEK AT THE AIRPORT which is filled with his "witty, erudite musings."

I can see myself in that position. Actually I would prefer the airport at Papeete, Tahiti at this time of year when the fog comes rolling in to my real residence. Lots of fog at Heathrow too, I hear. There in the tropics I would be the witty, erudite person I always knew I could be. I would be gracious and charming to the hordes of curious passengers who wonder what I am doing there sitting at that desk with a plumeria lei around my neck. "Writing a cozy mystery," I'd say, "a slim (very slim) book which will be filled with my musings as well as murder and mayhem. Any ideas, anyone?" I'd also be happy to autograph my books and to give or take travel or literary advice. De Bottom said a big part of his job was giving directions to the loo. Hey, I can do that too.

You too can be a Writer in Residence. But where? Airport, library, Cape Cod cottage, Macy's window? And what will you write whilst residing?

17 comments:

N. R. Williams said...

Hmmm...can't think of a nice enough, well, maybe I can. Perhaps some wonderful hotel where everyone waits on me and food, beverage and room are free.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

Jessie Chandler said...

I want to be a writer in residence at the Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans. I might not get a lot of writing done, but with the amount of tourists I'd be bound to pick up some great story ideas. I could write a slim volume about not getting too fluffy from chowing down on numerous beignets!

Carol Grace said...

Nancy, you have described the Writer in Residence program to a T! Everyone not only waits on you, you have dinner invitations galore as the townfolk fight over the honor of your presence. Everything's free AND you get paid. What's not to like?

Carol Grace said...

Jessie,
I bet the Cafe du Monde would love to have you as their Writer in Residence with all the beignets you can eat. Their business will go off the charts!

Jessie Chandler said...

I can see it now...writer explodes in a puff of powdered sugar after leaving behind sticky mystery novel. The fun I could have!!!

Keith Raffel said...

Great post for encouraging fantasies, Carol. How about writer-in-residence at an Oxford college? See http://bit.ly/cQBSq2

Lois Winston said...

I'd like to know if anyone CURRENTLY is getting writer-in-residence gigs. And if so, where's the money coming from? All across the country libraries are drastically reducing their hours or shutting down completely. The entire city of Camden, NJ, a city that desperately needs its libraries, has shut down every single one of theirs for lack of funds.

Airports? personally, I'd rather they spent their money on finding ways to streamline the security lines and departure delays. Cities and towns? They're laying off police and firemen. I can just see the outcry if they start hiring writers-in-residence with the money they've saved. Small businesses? They're too busy trying to keep from going under. Corporate America? Yeah, that would be the day.

Writer-in-residence? That's something that belongs in the fantasy genre nowadays. Keep dreaming, guys.

Darrell James said...

I'm thinking Playboy Mansion grotto (well, you did ask).

G.M. Malliet said...

Writer-in-residence at an Oxford college? Wow. For two years? Sigh.

Joanna Kavenna is SO lucky. Gifted and lucky.

Carol Grace said...

If Oxford can do it, so can the other universities. I love the part about membership in the Senior Common Room and those "dining rights. Get your applications in!

Alice Loweecey said...

If colleges are doing it, I'd love to be WiR at my alma mater, Catholic U. Here I am, writing novels about ex-nuns which also aren't exactly complimentary to the convent. What fun! What controversy! What publicity! Catholic U has had its share of controversial teachers and I'd be thrilled to join that list.

Of course, my next pick would be Fren Resort (Orillia, Ontario). Like, all summer. I'd teach a weekly class, lounge by the poos, sign autographs, write by the lake...

Excuse me while I indulge in a luxurious daydream...

Alice Loweecey said...

Bah. Sorry. That was supposed to be "Fern Resort."

G.M. Malliet said...

Alice - So, "lounge by the poos" wasn't a typo, only "Fren"?

I am just laughing my head off over here.

Signed: Gin, the still undefeated Queen of Typos

Alice Loweecey said...

Gin, hahahahaha! I swear, I've had at least one cup of coffee today.

*flexes fingers*

I would love to be Writer in Residence at Fern Resort, where I would lounge by the pool, amongst other delights.

*brews more coffee*

Carol Grace said...

Alice, spelling is not a requirement for the best Writer in Residence posts, you'll have your own spell-checker who doubles as a pool boy to bring you drinks at the author-friendly Fern Resort.

Alice Loweecey said...

Carol, I approve and think you should point that out to Fern.

(I wonder what they'll think of all this when someone on staff does a random Google check of their name!)

Keith Raffel said...

Or maybe we just need to get Orion to be our UK publisher.

http://bit.ly/bBxzOe